Firsts...

I don't have children of my own, but I have heard it said over and over again that the best part of being around a baby or a toddler is seeing them experience things for the first time. Ahhhh....the merriment of soap bubbles, the surprise of discovering a small orifice in the center of your belly (or perhaps an out-y if you have one of those), the wonder of your own hands -- this is LIFE unfolding people! Soak it up! Drink it in!

That is why I feel so lucky to have been part of our nephew's first trip to an outhouse this weekend .

Do I really need to say anymore than this? The input variables looks something like this:

1 inexperienced baby-sitter (moi)
1 2-year-old little boy (just potty trained)
1 Saturday morning soccer game for 5-year old niece
Many soccer fields of other 5-year olds and flocks of families
1 port-a-potty (yes, only one)
1 playground at far end of of soccer fields (opposite from aforementioned port-a-potty)
90 degree day
1 adult with an aversion to any port-a-potty because of possible dry heaving (also moi)***

The output is this:

Picture me running with a toddler from the playground to the far end of the fields, sweat gushing out of my pores, only to enter one steamy port-a-potty for an immediate number-2. Something maternal stirred inside of me just then - as I held one desperate toddler hovering over the lid that opened up into who-knows-what-vastness below, I was able to quell the gagging rising up in my throat. A little voice told me he was done and we both staggered out into fresh air (after the necessary wiping part in case you were concerned).

What made it all worthwhile was when he said to me "I love you Susan." But I still believe a strongly worded letter is required to the Rocklin Parks District to allow access to flush toilets.


***
There are several reasons I avoid port-a-potties:
1. They're gross
2. When I was child visiting family friends near the sea port town of Pusan, South Korea, we only had access to outhouses - next to a cemetery no less. There were stories of children falling into these pits and drowning so some morbid person concocted a story of a ghostly woman whose long mane of hair would stream out of the hole. If a child went into an outhouse without knocking and stepped on her hair, they would be pulled into the hole. Nice.
3. 2000 Austin Marathon - port a potties at mile marker 5. I won't describe it but apparently everyone had to go within the first five miles and were all in a hurry. I threw up.